第1章 为乐趣而生活Are We Having Fun Yet

佚名/Anonymous

我们都被洗脑了！我们被灌输了这样的“职业道德”：“工作（和忍受）到生命的最后一刻，如果你不能幸运地活到退休的话。我们没有时间浪费在无聊的事情上。我们有体现自身价值的责任。我们一定要认真而努力地工作，在事业上进步，赚更多的钱，并把赚钱和事业进步看做生活的首要目标。”我希望变更自己的人生计划。我知道，做自己感兴趣的事，我会做得很好；做自己憎恶的事，我会做得一塌糊涂；在压力下工作，通常会事倍功半；在轻松的环境中做，同样的工作却会事倍功半。我们可以改变生活中衡量某事是否该做的标准。我们需要扪心自问的不应是“它是否会赚大钱或能否让事业更上一层楼”，而是“我对这些感兴趣吗？这件事有意思吗？我要大干一番吗？”如果你不能肯定地回答这些问题，那么，这些很有可能就不是你该做的事情！如果是诸如纳税、洗碗等你必须做的事情，解决的办法就是找别人代你做，你不喜欢做的事情自然有人喜欢做。的确如此！举个例子来说，我并非世界上最棒的家庭主妇，我讨厌打扫卫生、擦地板和窗户等家务活，可偏偏有些人喜欢这种冥想性质的工作，并能在工作圆满完成后获得真正的满足。如果我雇人来做这些事，我就可以利用这些时间去做自己喜欢的事情来赚钱，这对我大有裨益。

人各有不同，不同的人适合做不同的事。某人喜欢做特定的某件事，这并不意味着你也必须要去喜欢。我所谓的“乐趣指数”可以用来帮助我们了解某一行业适合哪些人去做。判断一件事情是否该去做，不能只凭它能否带来物质利益和事业进步等经验主义，而应看此事是否能给我们带来乐趣并使我们获得满足感。你的工作带给你自豪感和满足感了吗？你是在执行“应该”指令，还是依照“想做”的意愿呢？然而，这种程式是异常强大的。我发现，勉强自己做事的结果就是能拖则拖，没完没了。你留意过吗？做自己不喜欢的事情，似乎总也做不完。反之，则如俗语所云：“乐在其中，浑然不知所谓何日。”

我们要反对旧的程式，并相信“乐趣指数”是一个流动工程。每一个小的进步，同时也是一个大的飞跃。每一步都会淡化你对生活的不满情绪，强化你的自爱、自我认同和自尊感，让你更易感知生活中的乐趣。不论何时，你都不能忽视这种内在激励。否则，你会日益陷入自厌与自责的泥潭，再次感到消沉没落。每一次失望都会强化心中的那个信念：别人的愿望比自己的更加重要。于是，你内在的欲求便会再次被压抑到最低位置。但是，这就是你的生活！为何要让他人指示你“应该”怎样生活呢？问问你自己，你想怎样规划自己的人生！聆听内心的声音，它会告诉你什么会真正充实和满足你。要知道，你才是自己生活的主宰者！毕竟，这是你的生活，不是吗？

We’ve all been brainwashed！We were all taught the work ethic！“Work(and suffer)till you die，or if you’re lucky retire.We don’t have time to waste on frivolities.We have responsibilities to fulfill.We have to be serious，work hard，rise in our career，make lots of money，and make earning money and advancing in our career a priority.”I wish to change that programming in my life.I know that when I do the things I enjoy doing，things work out better for me.I know that when I do something against my will，against my heart，it doesn’t work out well.I know that stressing myself out to try to get a job done usually takes twice as long as taking time out and doing that same task at some other time in a relaxed manner.We can change the criteria by which we decide what to do in our lives.Instead of“Will it bring in lots of money or advance my career”，we need to ask ourselves，“Will I enjoy doing this？Will this be fun？Am I looking forward to getting started on this？”If you can’t answer“yes”to these questions，then quite possibly this is not the task for you！If it is something that must be done，i.e.taxes，dishes，etc，the solution is to find someone else to do them for you.There are some people who will enjoy and love to do what you prefer not to do.Really！For example，I am not the world’s best housekeeper.

I do not really enjoy cleaning，washing floors，windows，etc.Yet there are some people who enjoy the meditative aspect of this work and who really get satisfaction from a job well done.It is to my benefit to pay someone to do this work so I can take that time earning money doing things that I enjoy.We are all very different and different things appeal to each one of us.Just because someone else enjoys a particular thing does not mean that you must.We can trust what I call the“fun index”to assist us in knowing if a particular action is the one for us.We can break away from the rule of thumb that judges things by whether they bring money or career advancement.We can change that to making our decisions based on whether an action will bring us pleasure and personal satisfaction.Does the work you do leave you feeling proud and pleased with yourself？Are you following the voice of“should”s or the one of“want to”？Yet，the programming is strong.I find myself struggling over a task and it ends up dragging itself out.Have you noticed that the things that you dislike doing are the ones that seem to take forever to get done？

As for the opposite viewpoint，well as the saying goes，“Time flies when you’re having fun！”Learning to go against that old programming and trusting the“fun index”is an ongoing project.Every small step is，at the same time，a big leap.Each step will move you away from dissatisfaction with your life and closer to self-love，selfacceptance，self-esteem and joy in your everyday existence.Anytime you ignore that inner prompting，

you accumulate self-loathing and disappointment in your being.Your inner child once again feels letdown and unimportant.Each letdown reinforce the inner child’s belief that everybody else’s wishes are more important than its own.Once again its desires are relegated to the lowest priority on the list.

Yet，it’s your life！Why let someone else dictate how you“should”live it？Ask yourself what steps you want to take！Listen to the voice within which will tell you what would really make you feel fulfilled and satisfied.You are the boss of your life！After all，it’s yours，isn’t it？