第15章

"Two women--the only two women who have ever really been in my life--form for me a standard below which I cannot fall,--one, my mother, a sacred and ideal memory; the other, old Margery Graem, my childhood's friend and nurse, now my housekeeper and general tender and mender.Her faithful heart and constant remembrance help to keep me true to the ideal of that sweet presence which faded from beside me when I stood on the threshold of manhood.Margery lives at Castle Gleneesh.When I return home, the sight which first meets my eyes as the hall door opens is old Margery in her black satin apron, lawn kerchief, and lavender ribbons.I always feel seven then, and Ialways hug her.You, Miss Champion, don't like me when I feel seven;but Margery does.Now, this is what I want you to realise.When Ibring a bride to Gleneesh and present her to Margery, the kind old eyes will try to see nothing but good; the faithful old heart will yearn to love and serve.And yet I shall know she knows the standard, just as I know it; I shall know she remembers the ideal of gentle, tender, Christian womanhood, just as I remember it; and Imust not, I dare not, fall short.Believe me, Miss Champion, more than once, when physical attraction has been strong, and I have been tempted in the worship of the outward loveliness to disregard or forget the essentials,--the things which are unseen but eternal,--then, all unconscious of exercising any such influence, old Margery's clear eyes look into mine, old Margery's mittened hand seems to rest upon my coat sleeve, and the voice which has guided me from infancy, says, in gentle astonishment: `Is this your choice, Master Garthie, to fill my dear lady's place?' No doubt, Miss Champion, it will seem almost absurd to you when you think of our set and our sentiments, and the way we racket round that I should sit here on the duchess's lawn and confess that I have been held back from proposing marriage to the women I have most admired, because of what would have been my old nurse's opinion of them! But you must remember her opinion is formed by a memory, and that memory is the memory of my dead mother.Moreover, Margery voices my best self, and expresses my own judgment when it is not blinded by passion or warped by my worship of the beautiful.Not that Margery would disapprove of loveliness; in fact, she would approve of nothing else for me, I know very well.But her penetration rapidly goes beneath the surface.According to one of Paul's sublime paradoxes, she looks at the things that are not seen.It seems queer that I can tell you all this, Miss Champion, and really it is the first time I have actually formulated it in my own mind.But I think it so extremely friendly of you to have troubled to give me good advice in the matter."Garth Dalmain ceased speaking, and the silence which followed suddenly assumed alarming proportions, seeming to Jane like a high fence which she was vainly trying to scale.She found herself mentally rushing hither and thither, seeking a gate or any possible means of egress.And still she was confronted by the difficulty of replying adequately to the totally unexpected.And what added to her dumbness was the fact that she was infinitely touched by Garth's confession; and when Jane was deeply moved speech always became difficult.That this young man--adored by all the girls for his good looks and delightful manners; pursued for his extreme eligibility by mothers and chaperons; famous already in the world of art;flattered, courted, sought after in society--should calmly admit that the only woman really left IN his life was his old nurse, and that her opinion and expectations held him back from a worldly, or unwise marriage, touched Jane deeply, even while in her heart she smiled at what their set would say could they realise the situation.

It revealed Garth in a new light; and suddenly Jane understood him, as she had not understood him before.

And yet the only reply she could bring herself to frame was: "I wish I knew old Margery."Garth's brown eyes flashed with pleasure.

"Ah, I wish you did," he said."And I should like you to see Castle Gleneesh.You would enjoy the view from the terrace, sheer into the gorge, and away across the purple hills.And I think you would like the pine woods and the moor.I say, Miss Champion, why should not _I_ get up a 'best party' in September, and implore the duchess to come and chaperon it? And then you could come, and any one else you would like asked.And--and, perhaps--we might ask--the beautiful 'Stars and Stripes,' and her aunt, Mrs.Parker Bangs of Chicago; and then we should see what Margery thought of her!""Delightful!" said Jane."I would come with pleasure.And really, Dal, I think that girl has a sweet nature.Could you do better? The exterior is perfect, and surely the soul is there.Yes, ask us all, and see what happens.""I will," cried Garth, delighted."And what will Margery think of Mrs.Parker Bangs?""Never mind," said Jane decidedly."When you marry the niece, the aunt goes back to Chicago.""And I wish her people were not millionaires.""That can't be helped," said Jane."Americans are so charming, that we really must not mind their money.""I wish Miss Lister and her aunt were here," remarked Garth."But they are to be at Lady Ingleby's, where I am due next Tuesday.Do you come on there, Miss Champion?""I do," replied Jane."I go to the Brands for a few days on Tuesday, but I have promised Myra to turn up at Shenstone for the week-end.Ilike staying there.They are such a harmonious couple.""Yes," said Garth, "but no one could help being a harmonious couple, who had married Lady Ingleby.""What grammar!" laughed Jane."But I know what you mean, and I am glad you think so highly of Myra.She is a dear! Only do make haste and paint her and get her off your mind, so as to be free for Pauline Lister."The sun-dial pointed to seven o'clock.The rooks had circled round the elms and dropped contentedly into their nests.

"Let us go in," said Jane, rising."I am glad we have had this talk," she added, as he walked beside her across the lawn.

"Yes," said Garth."Air-balls weren't in it! It was a football this time--good solid leather.And we each kicked one goal,--a tie, you know.For your advice went home to me, and I think my reply showed you the true lie of things; eh, Miss Champion?"He was feeling seven again; but Jane saw him now through old Margery's glasses, and it did not annoy her.

"Yes," she said, smiling at him with her kind, true eyes; "we will consider it a tie, and surely it will prove a tie to our friendship.

Thank you, Dal, for all you have told me."Arrived in her room, Jane found she had half an hour to spare before dressing.She took out her diary.Her conversation with Garth Dalmain seemed worth recording, particularly his story of the preacher whose beauty of soul redeemed the ugliness of his body.She wrote it down verbatim.

Then she rang for her maid, and dressed for dinner, and the concert which should follow.