第14章 PUBLISHERS' PREFACE TO THE NEW (1898) EDITION(14)

Unfortunately the winter turned out to be one of the severest.When we arrived at Salt Lake City, my poor friend was seized with typhoid fever, resulting from the fatigue we had undergone, the intense cold to which we had been subjected, and the excitement of being on a journey of 3500 miles across the North American Continent, when the Pacific Railway had made little progress and the Indians were reported not to be very friendly.

The story of the trip is told in Artemus Ward's lecture.I have added to it, at the special request of the publisher, a few explanatory notes, the purport of which is to render the reader acquainted with the characteristics of the lecturer's delivery.For the benefit of those who never had an opportunity of seeing Artemus Ward nor of hearing him lecture, I may be pardoned for attempting to describe the man himself.

In stature he was tall, in figure, slender.At any time during our acquaintance his height must have been disproportionate to his weight.Like his brother Cyrus, who died a few years before him;Charles F.Browne, our "Artemus Ward," had the premonitory signs of a short life strongly evident in his early manhood.There were the lank form, the long pale fingers, the very white pearly teeth, the thin, fine, soft hair, the undue brightness of the eyes, the excitable and even irritable disposition, the capricious appetite, and the alternately jubilant and despondent tone of mind which too frequently indicate that "the abhorred fury with the shears" is waiting too near at hand to "slit the thin-spun life." His hair was very light-colored, and not naturally curly.He used to joke in his lecture about what it cost him to keep it curled; he wore a very large moustache without any beard or whiskers; his nose was exceedingly prominent, having an outline not unlike that of the late Sir Charles Napier.His forehead was large, with, to use the language of the phrenologists, the organs of the perceptive faculties far more developed than those of the imaginative powers.

He had the manner and bearing of a naturally-born gentleman.Great was the disappointment of many who, having read his humorous papers descriptive of his exhibition of snakes and waxwork, and who having also formed their ideas of him from the absurd pictures which had been attached to some editions of his works, found on meeting with him that there was no trace of the showman in his deportment, and little to call up to their mind the smart Yankee who had married "Betsy Jane." There was nothing to indicate that he had not lived a long time in Europe and acquired the polish which men gain by coming in contact with the society of European capitals.In his conversation there was no marked peculiarity of accent to identify him as an American, nor any of the braggadocio which some of his countrymen unadvisedly assume.His voice was soft, gentle, and clear.He could make himself audible in the largest lecture-rooms without effort.His style of lecturing was peculiar; so thoroughly sui generis, that I know of no one with whom to compare him, nor can any description very well convey an idea of that which it was like.

However much he caused his audience to laugh, no smile appeared upon his own face.It was grave, even to solemnity, while he was giving utterance to the most delicious absurdities.His assumption of indifference to that which he was saying, his happy manner of letting his best jokes fall from his lips as if unconscious of their being jokes at all, his thorough self-possession on the platform, and keen appreciation of that which suited his audience and that which did not, rendered him well qualified for the task which he had undertaken--that of amusing the public with a humorous lecture.He understood and comprehended to a hair's breadth the grand secret of how not to bore.He had weighed, measured, and calculated to a nicety the number of laughs an audience could indulge in on one evening, without feeling that they were laughing just a little too much.Above all, he was no common man, and did not cause his audience to feel that they were laughing at that which they should feel ashamed of being amused with.He was intellectually up to the level of nine-tenths of those who listened to him, and in listening, they felt that it was no fool who wore the cap and bells so excellently.It was amusing to notice how with different people his jokes produced a different effect.The Honourable Robert Lowe attended one evening at the Mormon Lecture, and laughed as hilariously as any one in the room.The next evening Mr.John Bright happened to be present.With the exception of one or two occasional smiles, he listened with grave attention.