第4章 PUBLISHERS' PREFACE TO THE NEW (1898) EDITION(4)

Owing to a great storm, only a small audience braved the elements, and the Clinton Hall lecture was not a financial success.It consisted of a wandering batch of comicalities, touching upon everything except "The Babes." Indeed it was better described by the lecturer in London, when he said, "One of the features of my entertainment is, that it contains so many things that don't have anything to do with it."In the middle of his lecture, the speaker would hesitate, stop, and say: "Owing to a slight indisposition we will now have an intermission of fifteen minutes." The audience looked in utter dismay at the idea of staring at vacancy for a quarter of an hour, when, rubbing his hands, the lecturer would continue:

"but, ah--during the intermission I will go on with my lecture!"Mr.Browne's first volume, entitled "Artemus Ward; His Book," was published in New York, May 17th, 1862.The volume was everywhere hailed with enthusiasm, and over forty thousand copies were sold.

Great success also attended the sale of his three other volumes published in '65, '67, and '69.

Mr.Browne's next lecture was entitled "Sixty Minutes in Africa,"and was delivered in Musical Fund Hall, Philadelphia.Behind him hung a large map of Africa, "which region," said Artemus, "abounds in various natural productions, such as reptiles and flowers.It produces the red rose, the white rose, and the neg-roes.In the middle of the continent is what is called a 'howling wilderness,' but, for my part, I have never heard it howl, nor met with any one who has."After Mr.Browne had created immense enthusiasm for his lectures and books in the Eastern States, which filled his pockets with a handsome exchequer, he started, October 3d, 1863, for California, a faithful account of which trip is given by himself in this book.Previous to starting, he received a telegram from Thomas Maguire, of the San Francisco Opera House, inquiring "what he would TAKE FOR FORTY NIGHTS IN CALIFORNIA." Mr.Brown immediately telegraphed back,--"Brandy and water.

A.Ward."

And, though Maguire was sorely puzzled at the contents of the dispatch, the Press got hold of it, and it went through California as a capital joke.

Mr.Browne first lectured in San Francisco on "The Babes in the Woods," November 13th, 1863, at Pratt's Hall.T.Starr King took a deep interest in him, occupying the rostrum, and his general reception in San Francisco was warm.

Returning overland, through Salt Lake to the States, in the fall of 1864, Mr.Browne lectured again in New York, this time on the "Mormons," to immense audiences, and in the spring of 1865 he commenced his tour through the country, everywhere drawing enthusiastic audiences both North and South.

It was while on this tour that the writer of this sketch again spent some time with him.We met at Memphis and traveled down the Mississippi together.At Lake Providence the "Indiana"rounded up to our landing, and Mr.Browne accompanied the writer to his plantation, where he spent several days, mingling in seeming infinite delight with the negroes.For them he showed great fondness, and they used to stand around him in crowds listening to his seemingly serious advice.We could not prevail upon him to hunt or to join in any of the equestrian amusements with the neighboring planters, but a quiet fascination drew him to the negroes.Strolling through the "quarters," his grave words, too deep with humor for darkey comprehension, gained their entire confidence.One day he called up Uncle Jeff., an Uncle-Tom-like patriarch, and commenced in his usual vein: "Now, Uncle Jefferson," he said, "why do you thus pursue the habits of industry? This course of life is wrong--all wrong--all a base habit, Uncle Jefferson.Now try to break it off.Look at me,--look at Mr.Landon, the chivalric young Southern plantist FROMNEW YORK, he toils not, neither does he spin; he pursues a career of contented idleness.If you only thought so, Jefferson, you could live for months WITHOUT PERFORMING ANY KIND OF LABOR, and at the expiration of that time FEEL FRESH AND VIGOROUS ENOUGH TOCOMMENCE IT AGAIN.Idleness refreshes the physical organization --IT IS A SWEET BOON! Strike at the roots of the destroying habit to-day, Jefferson.It tires you out; resolve to be idle; no one should labor; HE SHOULD HIRE OTHERS TO DO IT FOR HIM;" and then he would fix his mournful eyes on Jeff.and hand him a dollar, while the eyes of the wonder-struck darkey would gaze in mute admiration upon the good and wise originator of the only theory which the darkey mind could appreciate.As Jeff.went away to tell the wonderful story to his companions, and backed it with the dollar as material proof, Artemus would cover his eyes, and bend forward on his elbows in a chuckling laugh.

"Among the Mormons" was delivered through the States, everywhere drawing immense crowds.His manner of delivering his discourse was grotesque and comical beyond description.His quaint and sad style contributed more than anything else to render his entertainment exquisitely funny.The programme was exceedingly droll, and the tickets of admission presented the most ludicrous of ideas.The writer presents a fac-simile of an admission ticket which was presented to him in Natchez by Mr.Browne:--ADMIT THE BEARER

AND ONE WIFE.

YOURS TROOLY, A.WARD.

In the spring of 1866, Charles Browne first timidly thought of going to Europe.Turning to Mr.Hingston one day he asked: