第140章

Indisposition-A resolution-Poor equivalents-The piece of gold-Flashing eyes-How beautiful-Bon jour,Monsieur.

I HAD long ago determined to leave London as soon as the means should be in my power,and,now that they were,I determined to leave the Great City;yet I felt some reluctance to go.I would fain have pursued the career of original authorship which had just opened itself to me,and have written other tales of adventure.

The bookseller had given me encouragement enough to do so;he had assured me that he should be always happy to deal with me for an article (that was the word)similar to the one I had brought him,provided my terms were moderate;and the bookseller's wife,by her complimentary language,had given me yet more encouragement.But for some months past I had been far from well,and my original indisposition,brought on partly by the peculiar atmosphere of the Big City,partly by anxiety of mind,had been much increased by the exertions which I had been compelled to make during the last few days.I felt that,were I to remain where I was,I should die,or become a confirmed valetudinarian.I would go forth into the country,travelling on foot,and,by exercise and inhaling pure air,endeavour to recover my health,leaving my subsequent movements to be determined by Providence.

But whither should I bend my course?Once or twice I thought of walking home to the old town,stay some time with my mother and my brother,and enjoy the pleasant walks in the neighbourhood;but,though I wished very much to see my mother and my brother,and felt much disposed to enjoy the said pleasant walks,the old town was not exactly the place to which I wished to go at this present juncture.I was afraid that people would ask,Where are your Northern Ballads?Where are your alliterative translations from Ab Gwilym-of which you were always talking,and with which you promised to astonish the world?Now,in the event of such interrogations,what could I answer?It is true I had compiled NEWGATE LIVES AND TRIALS,and had written the life of Joseph Sell,but I was afraid that the people of the old town would scarcely consider these as equivalents for the Northern Ballads and the songs of Ab Gwilym.I would go forth and wander in any direction but that of the old town.

But how one's sensibility on any particular point diminishes with time;at present I enter the old town perfectly indifferent as to what the people may be thinking on the subject of the songs and ballads.With respect to the people themselves,whether,like my sensibility,their curiosity has altogether evaporated,whether,which is at least equally probable,they never entertained any,one thing is certain,that never in a single instance have they troubled me with any remarks on the subject of the songs and ballads.

As it was my intention to travel on foot,with a bundle and a stick,I despatched my trunk containing some few clothes and books to the old town.My preparations were soon made;in about three days I was in readiness to start.