第37章

"I never thought he cared for me until a little while ago.I fancied it was you, and even when I knew he liked to hear me sing I supposed it was because you helped, and so I did my best and was glad you were to be a happy girl.But his eyes told the truth.Then I saw what I had been doing and was frightened.He did not speak, so I believed, what is quite true, that he felt I was not a fit wife for him and would never ask me.It was right­I was glad of it, yet I was proud and, though I did not ask or hope for anything, I did want him to see that I respected myself, remembered my duty, and could do right as well as he.I kept away.I planned to go as soon as possible and resolved that at this concert I would do so well, he should not be ashamed of poor Phebe and her one gift.""It was this that made you so strange, then, preferring to go alone and refusing every little favor at our hands?" asked Rose, feeling very sure now about the state of Phebe's heart.

"Yes, I wanted to do everything myself and not owe one jot of my success, if I had any, to even the dearest friend I've got.It was bad and foolish of me, and I was punished by the first dreadful failure.I was so frightened, Rose! My breath was all gone, my eyes so dizzy I could hardly see, and that great crowd of faces seemed so near, I dared not look.If it had not been for the clock I never should have gotten through, and when I did, not knowing in the least how I'd sung, one look at your distressed face told me I'd failed.""But I smiled, Phebe­indeed I did­as sweetly as I could, for I was sure it was only fright," protested Rose eagerly.

"So you did, but the smile was full of pity, not of pride, as I wanted it to be, and I rushed into a dark place behind the organ, feeling ready to kill myself.How angry and miserable I was! I set my teeth, clenched my hands, and vowed that I would do well next time or never sing another note.I was quite desperate when my turn came, and felt as if I could do almost anything, for I remembered that he was there.I'm not sure how it was, but it seemed as if I was all voice, for I let myself go, trying to forget everything except that two people must not be disappointed, though I died when the song was done.""Oh, Phebe, it was splendid! I nearly cried, I was so proud and glad to see you do yourself justice at last.""And he?" whispered Phebe, with her face half hidden on the arm of the chair.

"Said not a word, but I saw his lips tremble and his eyes shine and I knew he was the happiest creature there, because I was sure he did think you fit to be his wife and did mean to speak very soon."Phebe made no answer for a moment, seeming to forget the small success in the greater one which followed and to comfort her sore heart with the knowledge that Rose was right.

" He sent the flowers, he came for me, and, on the way home, showed me how wrong I had been to doubt him for an hour.Don't ask me to tell that part, but be sure I was the happiest creature in the world then."And Phebe hid her face again, all wet with tender tears that fell soft and sudden as a summer shower.

Rose let them flow undisturbed while she silently caressed the bent head, wondering, with a wistful look in her own wet eyes, what this mysterious passion was which could so move, ennoble, and beautify the beings whom it blessed.

An impertinent little clock upon the chimneypiece striking eleven broke the silence and reminded Phebe that she could not indulge in love dreams there.She started up, brushed off her tears, and said resolutely: "That is enough for tonight.Go happily to bed, and leave the troubles for tomorrow.""But, Phebe, I must know what you said," cried Rose, like a child defrauded of half its bedtime story.

"I said, 'No.' "

"Ah! But it will change to 'yes' by and by, I'm sure of that­so I'll let you go to dream of him.The Campbells are rather proud of being descendants of Robert the Bruce, but they have common sense and love you dearly, as you'll see tomorrow.""Perhaps," And with a good night kiss, poor Phebe went away, to lie awake till dawn.