第281章 [1762](30)

Barthes; I was not weak enough to believe he had acted from himself;there was in his manner something ostentatious, an affectation even,which declared a concealed intention, and I was far from havingfound in any of these little subaltern agents that generousintrepidity which, when I was in a similar employment, had oftencaused a fermentation in my heart.I had formerly known something ofthe Chevalier Beauteville, at the castle of Montmorency; he hadshown me marks of esteem; since his appointment to the embassy hehad given me proofs of his not having entirely forgotten me,accompanied with an invitation to go and see him at Soleure.ThoughI did not accept this invitation, I was extremely sensible of hiscivility, not having been accustomed to be treated with suchkindness by people in the place.I presumed M.de Beauteville, obligedto follow his instructions in what related to the affairs of Geneva,yet pitying me under my misfortunes, had by his private cares preparedfor me the asylum of Bienne, that I might live there in peace underhis auspices.I was properly sensible of his attention, but withoutwishing to profit by it, and quite determined upon the journey toBerlin, I sighed after the moment in which I was to see my lordmarshal, persuaded I should in future find real repose and lastinghappiness nowhere but near his person.

On my departure from the island, Kirkeberguer accompanied me toBienne.I found Wildremet and other Biennois, who, by the waterside, waited my getting out of the boat.We all dined together atthe inn, and on my arrived there my first care was to provide achaise, being determined to set off the next morning.Whilst we wereat dinner, these gentlemen repeated their solicitations to prevailupon me to stay with them, and this with such warmth and obligingprotestations, that notwithstanding all my resolutions, my heart,which has never been able to resist friendly attentions, received animpression from theirs; the moment they perceived I was shaken theyredoubled their efforts with so much effect that I was at lengthovercome, and consented to remain at Bienne, at least until thespring.

Wildremet immediately set about providing me with a lodging, andboasted, as of a fortunate discovery, of a dirty little chamber in theback of the house, on the third story, looking into a courtyard, whereI had for a view the display of the stinking skins of a dresser ofchamois leather.My host was a man of a mean appearance, and a gooddeal of a rascal; the next day after I went to his house I heardthat he was a debauchee, a gamester, and in bad credit in theneighborhood.He had neither wife, children, nor servants, and shut upin my solitary chamber, I was in the midst of one of the mostagreeable countries in Europe, lodged in a manner to make me die ofmelancholy in the course of a few days.What affected me most was,that, notwithstanding what I had heard of the anxious wish of theinhabitants to receive me amongst them, I had not perceived, as Ipassed through the streets, anything polite towards me in theirmanners, or obliging in their looks.I was, however, determined toremain there; but I learned, saw, and felt, the day after, thatthere was in the city a terrible fermentation, of which I was thecause.Several persons hastened obligingly to inform me that on thenext day I was to receive an order, conceived in most severe terms,immediately to quit the state, that is the city.I had nobody inwhom I could confide; they who had detained me were dispersed.

Wildremet had disappeared; I heard no more of Barthes, and it didnot appear that his recommendation had brought me into great favorwith those whom he had styled his patrons and fathers.One M.de VanTravers, a Bernois, who had an agreeable house not far from thecity, offered it me for my asylum, hoping, as he said, that I mightthere avoid being stoned.The advantage this offer held out was notsufficiently flattering to tempt me to prolong my abode with thesehospitable people.

Yet, having lost three days by the delay, I had greatly exceeded thetwenty-four hours the Bernois had given me to quit their states, andknowing their severity, I was not without apprehensions as to themanner in which they would suffer me to cross them, when the bailiffof Nidau came opportunely and relieved me from my embarrassment.As hehad highly disapproved of the violent proceedings of theirexcellencies, he thought, in his generosity, he owed me some publicproof of his taking no part in them, and had courage to leave hisbailiwick to come and pay me a visit at Bienne.He did me this favorthe evening before my departure, and far from being incognito heaffected ceremony, coming in fiocchi in his coach with hissecretary, and brought me a passport in his own name that I mightcross the state of Berne at my ease, and without fear ofmolestation.I was more flattered by the visit than by the passport,and should have been as sensible of the merit of it, had it had forobject any other person whatsoever.Nothing makes a greater impressionupon my heart than a well-timed act of courage in favor of the weakunjustly oppressed.

At length, after having with difficulty procured a chaise, I nextmorning left this barbarous country, before the arrival of thedeputation with which I was to be honored, and even before I hadseen Theresa, to whom I had written to come to me, when I thought Ishould remain at Bienne, and whom I had scarcely time to countermandby a short letter, informing her of my new disaster.In the third partof my memoirs, if ever I be able to write them, I shall state inwhat manner, thinking to set off for Berlin, I really took mydeparture for England, and the means by which the two ladies whowished to dispose of my person, after having by their maneuvers drivenme from Switzerland, where I was not sufficiently in their power, atlast delivered me into the hands of their friends.

[I added what follows on reading my memoirs to M.and Madam, theCountess of Egmont, the Prince Pignatelli, the Marchioness of Mesme,and the Marquis of Juigne.

"I have written the truth: if any person has heard of thingscontrary to those I have just stated, were they a thousand timesproved, he has heard calumny and falsehood; and if he refusesthoroughly to examine and compare them with me whilst I am alive, heis not a friend either to justice or truth.For my part, I openly, andwithout the least fear declare, that whoever, even without having readmy works, shall have examined with his own eyes my disposition,character, manners, inclinations, pleasures, and habits, and pronounceme a dishonest man, is himself one who deserves a gibbet."Thus I concluded, and every person was silent; Madam d'Egmont wasthe only person who seemed affected: she visibly trembled, but soonrecovered herself, and was silent like the rest of the company.Suchwere the fruits of my reading and declaration.]

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