LESSON 21
IRONICAL EULOGY ON DEBT

Debt is of the very highest antiquity. The first debt in the history of man is the debt of nature, and the first instinct is to put off the payment of it to the last moment. Many persons, it will be observed, following the natural procedure, would die before they would pay their debts.

Society is composed of two classes, debtors and creditors. The creditor class has been erroneously supposed the more enviable. Never was there a greater misconception; and the hold it yet maintains upon opinion is a remarkable example of the obstinacy of error, notwithstanding the plainest lessons of experience. The debtor has the sympathies of mankind. He is seldom spoken of but with expressions of tenderness and compassion— “the poor debtor! ” —and “the unfortunate debtor! ”On the other hand, “harsh” and “hard-hearted” are the epithets allotted to the creditor. Who ever heard the “poor creditor, ” the “unfortunate creditor” spoken of? No, the creditor never becomes the object of pity, unless he passes into the debtor class. A creditor may be ruined by the poor debtor, but it is not until he becomes unable to pay his own debts, that he begins to be compassionated.

A debtor is a man of mark. Many eyes are fixed upon him; many have interest in his well-being; his movements are of concern; he can not disappear unheeded; his name is in many mouths; his name is upon many books; he is a man of note—of promissory note; he fills the speculation of many minds; men conjecture about him, wonder about him, —wonder and conjecture whether he will pay. He is a man of consequence, for many are running after him. His door is thronged with duns. He is inquired after every hour of the day. Judges hear of him and know him. Every meal he swallows, every coat he puts upon his back, every dollar he borrows, appears before the country in some formal document. Compare his notoriety with the obscure lot of the creditor, —of the man who has nothing but claims on the world; a landlord, or fundholder, or some such disagreeable, hard character.

The man who pays his way is unknown in his neighborhood. You ask the milkman at his door, and he can not tell his name. You ask the butcher where Mr. Payall lives, and he tells you he knows no such name, for it is not in his books. You shall ask the baker, and he will tell you there is no such person in the neighborhood. People that have his money fast in their pockets, have no thought of his person or appellation. His house only is known. No. 31 is good pay. No. 31 is ready money. Not a scrap of paper is ever made out for No. 31. It is an anonymous house; its owner pays his way to obscurity. No one knows anything about him, or heeds his movements. If a carriage be seen at his door, the neighborhood is not full of concern lest he be going to run away. If a package be removed from his house, a score of boys are not employed to watch whether it be carried to the pawnbroker. Mr. Payall fills no place in the public mind; no one has any hopes or fears about him.

The creditor always figures in the fancy as a sour, single man, with grizzled hair, a scowling countenance, and a peremptory air, who lives in a dark apartment, with musty deeds about him, and an iron safe, as impenetrable as his heart, grabbing together what he does not enjoy, and what there is no one about him to enjoy. The debtor, on the other hand, is always pictured with a wife and six fair-haired daughters, bound together in affection and misery, full of sensibility, and suffering without a fault. The creditor, it is never doubted, thrives without a merit. He has no wife and children to pity. No one ever thinks it desirable that he should have the means of living. He is a brute for insisting that he must receive, in order to pay. It is not in the imagination of man to conceive that his creditor has demands upon him which must be satisfied, and that he must do to others as others must do to him. A creditor is a personification of exaction. He is supposed to be always taking in, and never giving out.

People idly fancy that the possession of riches is desirable. What blindness! Spend and regale. Save a shilling and you lay it by for a thief. The prudent men are the men that live beyond their means. Happen what may, they are safe. They have taken time by the forelock. They have anticipated fortune. “The wealthy fool, with gold in store, ” has only denied himself so much enjoyment, which another will seize at his expense. Look at these people in a panic. See who are the fools then. You know them by their long faces. You may say, as one of them goes by in an agony of apprehension,“There is a stupid fellow who fancied himself rich, because he had fifty thousand dollars in bank.” The history of the last ten years has taught the moral, “spend and regale.” Whatever is laid up beyond the present hour, is put in jeopardy. There is no certainty but in instant enjoyment. Look at schoolboys sharing a plum cake. The knowing ones eat, as for a race; but a stupid fellow saves his portion; just nibbles a bit, and “keeps the rest for another time.” Most provident blockhead! The others, when they have gobbled up their shares, set upon him, plunder him, and thrash him for crying out.

Before the terms “depreciation, ” “suspension, ” and “going into liquidation, ” were heard, there might have been some reason in the practice of “laying up; ” but now it denotes the darkest blindness. The prudent men of the present time, are the men in debt. The tendency being to sacrifice creditors to debtors, and the debtor party acquiring daily new strength, everyone is in haste to get into the favored class. In any case, the debtor is safe. He has put his enjoyments behind him; they are safe; no turns of fortune can disturb them. The substance he has eaten up, is irrecoverable.The future can not trouble his past. He has nothing to apprehend. He has anticipated more than fortune would ever have granted him. He has tricked fortune;and his creditors—bah! who feels for creditors? What are creditors? Landlords; a pitiless and unpitiable tribe; all griping extortioners! What would become of the world of debtors, if it did not steal a march upon this rapacious class?

STUDY NOTE

Speech or writing that is ironical or ironic displays a different, often opposite expression from what is expected. A eulogy is a poem or song in praise of something. A debtor owes money, while a creditor collects money.

STUDY GUIDE

A. Vocabulary power—Answer the following questions about vocabulary words in the eulogy.

1. Something that has antiquity is very old. Is there anything in your house that has antiquity?

2. A misconception is when someone has the wrong idea about something or someone. What is a misconception about you?

3. To conjecture is to guess about someone or something. Conjecture about one of your friends.

4. If someone or something is anonymous, it is unknown. Do you know about an anonymous person who did a kind thing? Explain.

5. To gobble means to eat something very quickly. What food do you sometimes gobble?

6. Someone who is prudent is cautious and has good judgement. Do you know someone who is prudent? Explain.

B. Comprehension Questions—Answer the following Questions.

1. Does the writer really think debtors are more enviable than creditors? Explain.

2. According to the writer, why do more people care about the debtor than the creditor?

3. Who is anonymous, the debtor or the creditor? Explain.

4. Would you rather be a debtor or a creditor? Explain.

5. To “live beyond their means” is to spend too much money. Do you think this is a smart way to live? Why or why not?

6. Do you think this reading is funny? Why or why not?

C. Synonyms—Find words in the reading that have the same or similar meanings to words in this exercise.

1. paragraph 1—delay: p _____

2. paragraph 2—mistake: e ____

3. paragraph 3—not well known: o ______

4. paragraph 4—given a job: e _______

5. paragraph 5—sadness: m _____

6. paragraph 6—a person who steals: t ____

7. paragraph 7—given to: g ______