Preface

Conflict is ubiquitous. Workplaces, homes, and communities are riddled with it. The trouble is, not nearly enough people understand what to do about it. The 2013 Executive Coaching Survey published by Stanford University, for example, reveals that company CEOs feel a greater need to improve their conflict management skills than skills of any other type. A study of parents would likely yield similar results.

Why does there remain so much confusion when there is so much need? The reason is that in conflict, as in magic, the real action occurs where people are not looking. For example, we assume that people in conflict want solutions. However, this is only partially true. Parents of belligerent children do want the belligerence to end, those who work for tyrannical managers want an end to the tyranny, and citizens of weakened nations certainly want to be treated with respect. Notice, however, that parties in conflict all wait on the same solution: they wait for the other party to change. Should we be surprised, then, when conflicts linger and problems remain?

It turns out that people in conflict value something else more highly than they value solutions. The Anatomy of Peace shows what this is and demonstrates how conflicts at home, conflicts at work, and conflicts in the world stem from the same root cause. Furthermore, the book shows how we systematically misunderstand that cause and unwittingly perpetuate the very problems we think we are trying to solve.

The first edition of the book was published in 2006. Since then, it has been printed in nearly twenty languages and has become a perennial best-seller in the conflict resolution space. This expanded second edition includes a new appendix to give people additional help in applying the concepts.

The Anatomy of Peace has been instrumental in breaking down silos in organizations, transforming law enforcement methodologies and results, providing the framework for whole college conflict curriculums, healing labor-management rifts, and saving marriages and other relationships. Business and governmental leaders, parents, professors, and conflict professionals alike use the book as a guide for finding solutions to their most challenging problems.

The book itself unfolds as a story. Yusuf al-Falah, an Arab, and Avi Rozen, a Jew, each lost his father at the hands of the other’s ethnic cousins. The Anatomy of Peace is the story of how they came together, how they help others come together, and how we too can find our way out of the struggles that weigh us down.

Those who have read our earlier book, Leadership and Self-Deception, will recognize one of the key characters from that book, Lou Herbert, as The Anatomy of Peace takes the reader back in time to when Lou first learned the ideas that transformed both his company and his life.

Although some of the stories in this book were inspired by actual events, no character or organization described in this book represents any specific person or organization. In many respects, these characters are each of us. They share our strengths and our weaknesses, our aspirations and our despair. They are seeking solutions to problems that weigh us down. They are us, and we are them. So their lessons offer us hope.

Hope? Yes. Because our problems, as theirs, are not what they seem. This is at once our challenge and our opportunity.