Neuroscience proves that welcoming matters

Folks called neuroscientists study how our brains work. Their findings take welcoming from “something nice to do” to “something we must do.”

For years, those of us who lead, design, and facilitate meetings knew from experience that meetings go better when people feel welcome (Lieberman 2013). What we didn’t know was why.

It turns out that our brains are always scanning the environment for threats and rewards (Rock 2009). We are seeking to avoid danger and move toward rewards. However, we don’tlook for these things equally. It turns out we are always on the lookout for danger. In fact, we are ten times more likely to scan for threats than we are for rewards.

Are you with us so far?

Yes. So far, so good. You’re not making this stuff up, are you?

No. There is a lot of research behind what we are saying.

Scanning for threats is as natural as breathing. It’s so natural, we don’t even know we are doing it.

Do you mean it’s kind of like a built-in radar system, constantly scanning for danger?

Exactly.

When you spot danger, your first response is fight or flight. In a meeting, you may feel threatened because you don’t feel welcome, because you think the meeting is a waste of time, or because the meeting’s purpose is threatening. You eliminate the threat by defeating it or by leaving the scene. Most people don’t feel comfortable getting up and leaving a meeting when they don’t feel welcome. So what they do is leave in place.

They fight by finding ways to disrupt the work at hand. For example, they raise false objections and engage in discussions that take the group down bunny trails, thus cleverly avoiding the perceived threat in doing the work at hand.