在精确的基础上做到简洁

如果说精确是作者的底线，那么可以说简洁是作者的良心。简洁不仅节省读者的时间从而节省能量，还能带来美感，即所谓“少即是多”（less is more）。当然简洁一定要以保障精确性为前提，不能因为追求简洁而产生歧义和模糊。言简意赅是一个写作者成熟的标志。

“在我的后园，可以看见墙外有两株树，一株是枣树，还有一株也是枣树。”^[1]这是一句值得深思的话，但如果放在学术文章里，不如改成“我家后园有两株枣树”。再比如：“This finding made us speculate that”不如改成“We speculate that”或者“This finding suggests that”。

在实际写作过程中，有一些句式本身就可能带来不简洁的效果。比如常见的“there be”句型，我不太推荐使用。一方面是因为“be动词”是弱动词，而真正的动作放到了别的词上（后面的章节会讲到）。另一方面是因为这一句型不够简洁，细心的话，不难发现任何以“there be”开头的句子，都是可以省掉这个词组的，比如“There are two children playing”就可以直接写成“Two children are playing”。又如“There is no significant relations between A and B”这句话是非常常见的结果描述，通常我会写成“no significant relation is found between A and B”或者主动语态“ We found no significant relation between A and B”。

另一个不够简洁的句型是被动语态。美国心理学会（APA）建议尽量不用被动语态，主要有两方面原因：一方面是我们要强调动作的主体，而被动句通常省掉了主体；另一方面是弱动词的问题。例如，很多人在描述被试的情况时，经常用“50 participants were recruited from a college”这种表达方式，而我一般会改成主动语态：“We recruited 50 participants”或者“Our study included 50 participants”。在中文写作中，很多人不习惯说“我”“我们”，但应该明确你才是研究的主要实施者，英文写作中不要怕用“I”和“we”。

下面我用一些例子来详细说明如何做到简洁：

（1）Children with autism were reported by previous research to show atypical attention to social stimuli (Pelphrey et al., 2002).

或Previous research has shown that children with autism show atypical attention to social stimuli (Pelphrey et al., 2002).

都可以改为：Children with autism show atypical attention to social stimuli (Pelphrey et al., 2002).

事实上，任何以“previous research has shown that ...”或者“××× were reported（by previous research）”作为开头的句子都可以省略这两种表述。因为在科技论文里，有文献引用的前提下，你说出一个结论，读者基本默认是一个基于科学研究的结论。

（2）This finding was consistent with previous findings in typical adults: The audiovisual speech integration in typical adults was positively correlated with their mouth-looking time.

问题：重复用一个短语，可以改用their。

改为：This finding was consistent with previous findings in typical adults: Their audiovisual speech integration was positively correlated with their mouth-looking time.

（3）That is, the ASD group's McGurk effect could be predicted by their month-looking time in both conditions, and the TD group's McGurk effect could be predicted by their eye-looking time only in the open-eyes condition. The ASD group's length of looking time on the mouth could predict their strength of the McGurk effect in both conditions and their McGurk effect improved with their increasing looking time on the mouth. Whereas, the TD group's strength of McGurk effect could be predicted by their length of looking time on the eyes only in the open-eyes condition.

问题：第二句和第三句话相当于把第一句话又写了一遍，只是在写法上有一些改动。所以可以删掉后两句话。

（4）Two previous studies also set a similar condition, and their findings were consistent with ours (Iarocci et al., 2010; Ujiie, Asai, & Wakabayashi, 2015). Iarocci et al. (2010) took the mouth and nose region of a speaker as stimuli and compared the audiovisual speech integration of children with ASD and TD children. They found that the two groups showed similar audiovisual speech integration. Ujiie et al. (2015) took the mouth region of a speaker as stimuli and compared the audiovisual speech integration of adults with high AQ (autism quotient) and low AQ. They found that there was no significant group difference between the audiovisual speech integration of the two groups.

问题：第二、三句的意思和第四、五句的意思基本重复，写两遍显得啰唆。后面章节中讲到如何引用的时候也会讲到这个句子，在引用时你需要厘清前人研究之间的关系以及与你的研究的关系，而不是罗列式地列出来等读者来厘清。

可以改为：This finding is consistent with two previous studies with similar closed-eyes conditions (Iarocci et al., 2010; Ujiie, Asai, & Wakabayashi, 2015). Both studies only showed part of the speaker's face (including the mouth region) as the McGurk stimuli, and found no difference between children with ASD and TD children, as well as adults with high and low autistic traits, in their audiovisual speech integration.

需要遵循的原则是在保证精确性的条件下，简化语言。还有一条原则：语言的精确要优先于语言的优美（clarity over elegance）。任何时候，精确都是第一位的。

[1] 引自鲁迅散文集《野草》中的《秋夜》。